“Life will never be the same” either way…
You hear it all the time…
“Just wait until you have kids,” or “Your life will never be the same after you have kids.”
Maybe they’re right…things won’t be the same. Maybe they were never meant to be the same. Following an unexpected pregnancy, you might be looking for a way to get back to your “regular” life. This blog is going to discuss the permanent changes a pregnancy brings, regardless of the outcome.
Life has a way of surprising us. If you ask someone if they’re content where they are right now (financially, relationally, emotionally, physically), very, very few would say that they are content. Yet, when a change comes their way, people often say (in a negative light), “Things will never be the same now!” We live in a goal-oriented, hustle & bustle world. Many people have a long list of things they must achieve before “settling down” and starting a family. The thought of their life being different than they originally planned seems to be the end of their world. The truth is, there’s more than one route to get to where you’re going, and sometimes, along the way, you will realize you have found a different and perhaps even a better destination.
Maybe it will never be the same, but maybe that’s a good thing.
An unexpected pregnancy can be one of the most dramatic life changes you will face. It is a lifelong change: another life entering the world, and you’re the one responsible for it. It is overwhelming. You might not want this to be your reality right now. You might want to escape, pretend that this never happened, and go on with life as you had planned. It’s important to realize that once you become pregnant, your life is never going to be the same, regardless of the actions you choose to take moving forward.
Pregnancy, regardless of the length, CHANGES you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is no option to fully avoid it after you have become pregnant. Physically, following pregnancy, your baby’s DNA remains with you. “Cells of fetal origin and cell-free fetal DNA can be detected in the maternal circulation during pregnancy, and it has recently been shown that fetal cells can persist long after delivery.” according to Human Genetics:
https://link.springer.com/journal/439
This remains true whether a baby is carried to term and delivered or aborted in early pregnancy — the physical change has already occurred. Research suggests fetal cells may even play a role in healing the mother’s wounds and/or scars! “Many events occur during pregnancy that not only influence the health of the child into adulthood but may also have long-term effects on the health of the mother. One such event is the passage of fetal cells into the maternal circulation during pregnancy. Trafficking of fetal cells into the maternal circulation begins very early in pregnancy, and the effects of this cell traffic are long lasting. These fetal cells can be located in maternal tissues during and after pregnancy and persist as microchimeric cells for decades in bone marrow and other organs. While persistent fetal cells were first implicated in the pathogenesis of maternal autoimmune disease, subsequent reports found microchimeric cells in healthy tissues. Parallel studies in animal and human pregnancy now suggest instead that microchimeric fetal cells play a role in the response to tissue injury.” From the article found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/journals/kchm20
Many other physiological changes result from pregnancy as well, including but not limited to hormonal shifts, cardiovascular and fluid changes, and musculoskeletal and skin changes.
You will be changed emotionally as well, due to maternal instincts and hormonal changes in your body. Pregnancy and postpartum both play a big role in a mother’s emotions. Although some of these emotions are challenging to navigate, they also can play a big role in the connection between the mother and baby. Research supports this deep emotional connection. “Preverbal infants and mothers normally use emotional cues as primary sources of information when relating to each other. Seen in this light, emotional exchanges constitute mothers’ and children’s first (extremely complex) ‘language’ with one another. The emotional availability construct is intended to capture the degree to which both mother and infant are accessible and able to respond appropriately to one another’s emotional signals (Biringen & Robinson, 1991). Furthermore, because emotional relationships unfold over time, it is critical to adopt a developmental perspective to understand processes underlying individual pathways to adaptive and maladaptive outcomes.”
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3426791/
Learning how to navigate and manage your emotions will not only play a vital role in your future but also the future of your child(ren). Having established support and coping skills can make changes manageable and even enjoyable.
Spiritually, parenthood can bring an awakening. Few things in life bring forth new life and new souls like a child entering the world. For many parents, this is revolutionary. New purpose evolves as a life begins, and it can help strengthen one’s spirituality through hope and looking at life with a futuristic perspective.
In conclusion, they’re right. Life won’t be the same now. Whether a mother chooses abortion, parenthood, or adoption, the baby’s life and existence will always have an impact on her. If you are in this situation—looking for options or needing support—please do not hesitate to reach out. You are not alone! You have options, support, and a listening ear available at Choices Clinic. Our free services are here for you, and you can easily schedule an appointment today.
“The truth is, there’s more than one route to
get to where you’re going”
Because we are pro-woman and a non-profit, we do not provide or refer for abortion services.
FREE & Confidential Services & Resources offered at Choices Clinic include the following:
Pregnancy testing
Limited Ultrasounds
STI Testing and Treatments
Material items needed for baby & mom (such as diapers, wipes, maternity clothing etc…)
Parenting Classes & more!
Choices Clinic is conveniently located at
775 S. Harbin Drive, Stephenville, TX 76401
Feel free to call or schedule a free, confidential appointment online.
Phone: 833-773-3001
Website: www.choicesclinic.net
